Monday, September 26, 2005

Stuff to do! Stuff to do!

I have so much to work on today. No time for procrastination! Yet I am still here wasting my time on blogging. At least I'm getting a break. I need one right now. We have to finish a 10-page research paper on Economics, make stupid DFDs and make a presentation report of them, finish up a 20-30-page documentation on a pragramming language with mobile computing capabilities and also make a presentation of it. All are due within the next two weeks. We have to deal with all of them altogether. These days are hell days for me.

On other news, I have downloaded a PDF file of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I have read the first few parts. And it sucks! No, not the story. It's the way I read. I hate reading monitors. Not good for the eyes. And I have to turn on the PC just to read. I was thinking of borrowing a book, but that means dealing with a long line of fellow borrowers. And patience is not my virtue.

So why did I resort to this desperate measure? I don't want the story to be gradually narrated to me by spoilers! First, a website reviews that the book has a really gloomy plot. So that means there are deaths of those close to Harry. That's a spoiler. Hey, why did I even read the book review? Stupid me. Then there was one who surprised me with the news that Dumbledore died! I was shocked - and furious. Then another one repeated the news and added that Snape really is a villain and a traitor! *screaming* I have to finish the book soon.

I really have to stop this. I have lots of function description tables to fill up.

Dammit!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Of Love and Hatred

Hello blog! It's been a long time... again. I run out of stuff to post. I had to take a break to pile up reflections and reactions on my observations in my wretched existence. Still got nothing noteworthy though.

So what I did was to look at others' blogs. I realized then how different we really are. There was a couple of suicidal blogs, some journal-like as mine, some are posts of already-published thoughts, but most are about love, which, honestly, I am not fond of. Love, love, love. Why is everybody talking about it? It's indescribably oversentimental. I have even seen blog authors compose and post their very own poems about looove. That reminds me of the poems I made. In high school, I made two poems for literature class. Almost everybody else wrote poems about looove. I think I was the only poet who expressed affectionate hatred for somebody in his sonnets. I don't want to brag about it, but my poems scored good grades, which I think is not because they were exceptional but because they were different. They stood out. How can fiery hatred not stand out in a pool of icky, gooey looove?

I don't mean to offend the love poets. I don't think there is something wrong with them. In fact, I think there's something wrong with me. Love is human nature. Why am I not fond of it? I do love, like the way I love food and stabbing people I hate at the back. But no romantic love. And I'm not serious about it. I'm so pathetic...

...or perhaps I'm not human.

Monday, September 12, 2005

A Tragic Week

Last week was horrible! I had tonsilitis with fever. Swallowing really hurt. I can't enjoy eating. My face frowned at every gulp. The warm salt solution meagrely relieved the soreness. I can't drink cold liquid, which I miss right now. I had a fever (that I exaggeratedly thought was dengue), which surprisingly lasted for two days. I even had a singaw where my wisdom tooth is struggling to grow.

I decided to consult the doctor in the school clinic last Saturday. He wasn't there. How could I think that that grumpy old doctor would be patient enough to serve the students on a Saturday? I instead headed to a pharmacy to buy 10 capsules of Amoxicillin, as my father told me. He strongly advised to consult a doctor. He wasn't sure if I really had tonsilitis because he couldn't see deeper into my throat and look for swellings. What if a fish bone was just stuck in my throat? I assured him it was really tonsilitis. If it was the latter, a fish bone would give a sharper pain. So today, the soreness is subsiding. But I still can't drink (or even eat, I think) something cold. Shit!

We were also required to attend this CSIT Awarding Ceremony last Saturday from four to eight. I went in the gym 'round 4:30. The first contest was the vocal solo singing. The representative for our subdepartment sang the ever-popular 'Especially for You'. And guess what? The only lyrics she was sure of were: "Especially for you", "I wanna let you know", "Together, together, I wanna show you my heart is SO SO true. And all the love I have is especially for you." I don't want to offend her here. I believed she was forced to sing. She had a nice voice but she should've refused, especially when she hasn't memorized the lyrics well.

Now that surprises me. I mean, right now everyone is singing this mushy song. Even the corrupt witchy fat lady in the advanced com lab keeps on playing it in the computer unit, which she thinks is hers. Imagine the Windows Media Player with only 'Especially for You' in the playlist and the play setting on 'Repeat'! We've got a room that haunts the computer users with the same song that will keep on playing in their minds even when they are out of the com lab. It's like a curse! I shall accuse her of witchery and burn her at stake like a pig!

My God, I hope she won't see this...

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Text Jokes! (continued)

OK. Fully charged na ang cel ko...

From Bernie:
***************
I was planning to kill the most LOVELY and the most CHARMING person on earth
then I realized...

that would be SUICIDE!

bad yun...
***************
As I watched the ants crawl upon the wall, I noticed that no matter how busy they are, they still stop and communicate. I hope we could be like the ants...

nga makalakawlakaw sa walls!
***************
Last night I dreamed of U.
This morning my first thought was U.
I'm thinking of U right now
And till I go to bed tonight.

Bukas I'll think of letter V naman...
tapos W, X, Y, Z.
***************
Ang tunay na kacutetan ng isang tao
Ay di makikita sa panlabas na anyo
O pisikal na atraksyon.
Dahil ang tunay na kacutetan ay nasa...
AKIN lamang.
Sige may konti sa 'yo.
Konti lang ha?
***************

From Jame:
***************
English-Tagalog dictionary:
PERSUADING = unang kasal
DEVASTATION = stasyon ng bus
PROTESTANT = tindahan ng prutas
STATUE = ikaw ba yan?
PREDICATE = pakawalan ang pusa
***************
ENGLISH CLASS
Bawal ang mag-Tagalog...

Pedro: Maam, may I go out?
Teacher: Why?
Pedro: Because FATHER MOTHER ME
Teacher: What?
Pedro: TATA INA AKO!
***************
How many animals can you fit in a pair of pants?
Answer: one cock, two bulls and a thousand of hares

In a panty?
Answer: Just one smiling pussy...
***************
Paano if one day
Sabi ni Doc
You need new legs
Or else you'll die?
Nagpaopera ka
Nang matapos, ask you
Sino donor?
May inabot na note, sabi:
Ingatan mo alaala ko.

Love,
DAGUL
***************
Want to hear a fairy tale?
Once upon a time, Cinderella was so horny.
So she put Pinocchio's nose between her legs and shouted:
"Lie to me bastard, lie!"
The End
***************
Nakakatakot ang buhay.
Di natin alam kung kelan tayo mamatay.
Di rin natin alam kung lahat ba ng kaibigan natin ay maaasahan.
Pero ang higit kong kinatatakutan ay
'Pag nagbackless si Imang.
***************

From Ice:
***************
FRENCH LESSON:
cough = o vou
ashes = a vou
naked = hu vou
car = re vou
balloon = lo vou
drugs = sha vou
goodbye = va vou
CUTE = a cou! Lagi na lang a cou!
***************
Sabi nila:
SUNGIT ka, nagalit ako.
Wala ka daw KUWENTA, sinapak ko.
Wala kang TASTE, sinuntok ko nga.

Nang sinabing CUTE ka, binaril ko na.
Nanloloko na eh!
***************

From ?
***************
Wife puts Viagra on husband's coffee to add sex drive. After drinking, husband grabbed and fucked her on the table. Wife shout and cried, "'Tang ina naman, 'wag naman dito sa Jollibee!"
***************
SEXY: Maawa ka! Meron ako, meron ako!
RAPIST: AHH! Walang meron-meron sa akin! TITIKMAN KITAA!
SEXY: WAG! AYY!
RAPIST: Yaakkk!!! Meron ka nga! MERON KANG ITLOG, BAKLA!
***************
Anong bagay ang mahaba..
'Pag nagagalit, tumataba!
'Pag hinihimas humahaba!
Nakapagpapasaya sa mga babae...
Ano pa e di...
titi!
'Kala mo joke noh!
Di na uso yun!
***************

*Ayan yan lang ang matype ko. Nakakapagod pala. Yung si ? di ko kilala, kaya nga ? ang name ng number nya sa cel ko. Nagtext ako sa kanya para itanong kung sino siya. Pero nagreply siya na nagtatanong rin kung sino ako. Hindi ko muna sinabi sa kanya kasi ako una nagtanong. Pero makulit siya! Nabuwisit ako kaya nagreply ako ng "Bahala ka!" Pinapahirapan lang namin ang mga sarili namin...

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Text Jokes

Hindi muna ako magsusulat tungkol sa Nature Appreciation. Yung previous post ko introduction pa lang pero detalyado na. Kaya dapat detalyado rin ang Nature Appreciation Part 2. Hirap pala! Hindi naman ako magaling magsulat ng kuwento. But I'll take it as a challenge.

Dahil magpopost ako ng tungkol sa isang contemporary Filipino culture, Filipino muna gamitin ko. Pero informal lang. Mahirap magsulat sa purong Filipino.

Kagabi kasi maraming bumabagabag sa akin. Medyo hindi ako makatulog. Ayokong sabihin ang mga dahilan dito kasi ayokong maalala sila kung babasahin ko man ulit ang posts ko sa hinaharap. Bad mood ako kagabi so kinuha ko cel ko at nagbasa ng messages sa inbox ko. Alam ko kasi na karamihan sa hindi ko ibinura ay mga jokes, tapos karamihan pa sa kanila napakagreen. Kaya masaya!

Punyeta! Namatay cellphone ko! Empty batt na! Ikopya ko sana dito yung mga text jokes, pero wala nang pag-asa. At least for now. Ituloy ko na lang 'to bukas. Nasa school pa kasi ako at wala akong charger.

Lintik na pagkakataon 'to!

Monday, September 05, 2005

Nature Appreciation Part 1

This year’s Nature Appreciation venue is Tolosa, Guisao. Sounds very far-flung to me. So I wasn’t surprised to see splashing water and a lot of green all around. But before getting there, there were… unfortunate events. Unfortunate, but worthwhile.

Instead of heading to school, I decided to wait for them at a store right beside the highway. There is no other way to get to Guisao but to pass through a line of barangays along the Maria Clara Lobregat Highway, which I believe is the only highway that looks like a highway in this God-forsaken city. One of those barangays is Divisoria, so they would pass here. I sent a message to Ate Mich to pick me at Nonong Store. I sent another message just to specify where exactly it is – a few steps after a distinctive blue house at the right side of the highway.

After eating a hurried breakfast, I fixed myself one more time and rushed to Nonong Store. It was around 7:40 A.M. I expected them to stop there soon. The scheduled departure time at school is 7 A.M. It’s a 30-minute ride from the civilized city proper to Divisoria. But since the ACILians are hopelessly Filipino, I expected them to leave a little late. And I was wrong.

Growing impatient as well as anxious, I headed back home. I forced a missed call on Ate Mich’s cell phone. After a few minutes, I received a message from her that said something like, “Hintay lang J. Magdispose pa sa amin si Bro. Ogie. Miss call lang kita.” “WHAT?!” I thought. It was past eight and they’re still in school! Very Filipino! I should’ve expected much more. But that was better instead of departing early, leaving me behind.

So I replied, “OK thanks. Miss call n’yo na lang ako kung malapit na kayo Divisoria.” After a few minutes, no missed call but another message. At last they are here, in front of the new chapel... which is meters away from Nonong Store! How could they miss that store? It's a good thing that the chapel was at a walking distance from where they were supposed to stop. I had to speed up my pace to get on the jeep as soon as possible.

And off we went to Tolosa.

*to be continued

Friday, September 02, 2005

So-so post...

Yesterday was the Feast of the Ascension of the Prophet Muhammad - a holiday! But it's not the same holiday mood if I have posted yesterday. Actually right now I don't know what to say. I had a lot in my mind yesterday (that is the fourth 'yesterday' word I said... and that's the fifth!) but I don't remember them today. Sometimes I hate holidays. Got nothing to do. The 'day before today' (that's better...) I just ate, slept and did some chores. Plus it was the day before Friday, which is today. Friday is supposed to be relaxing. But for me it's a day when weekly junks - I mean requirements demanded by the perpetually unforgiving teachers pile up in my reminder notes. IT article, progress report, reading assignments, more homeworks... I had to do start working on them yesterday. Hmmph. Some holiday.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Phenomenology of Death

Before the midterms, we were asked to submit a reaction paper or book review in our Philosophy of Man class. An article that caught my attention was "Martin Heidegger's Phenomenology of Death." At least the title made me grab the book because I thought it would satisfy my search for the true meaning of death and everything after it. But it was disappointing. I expressed it in my paper. However, the article was still worth reading. I didn't believe in destiny or fate. But now I realize that every one of us is destined... to die. I knew that all of us will eventually die. I just didn't see it as destiny...

If you don’t like the word death, then don’t read this. I have mentioned death several times throughout the article. I started writing this just a few days before the deadline. I procrastinate sometimes.

MARTIN HEIDEGGER’S PHENOMENOLOGY OF DEATH

Jan Carlo Tuclaud
BSCS – 3
Philosophy 102
August 22, 2005

Martin Heidegger’s Phenomenology of Death is written by Manuel B. Dy, Jr. The article is published in the same author’s book Philosophy of Man in page 253.

Dy explains in the article about death as how Martin Heidegger defines it through the phenomenological method. It does not talk about the concept of afterlife but rather about how man usually perceives – and how man should perceive – death.

So what is death according to Heidegger? Before explaining his phenomenology of death, Dy starts defining confusing terms like Dasein, Care, ahead-of-itself, and other simple words that were put together with hyphens to represent some other complex concept. I have however understood one essential term – being-towards-death, which refers to man and his attitude towards death. I will further talk about this later.

Heidegger argues that death should not be defined on the basis of the life after it, if there is. As Dy says in the article, “No one has ever come out alive from death to tell us about death.” I was disappointed at this. I have a lot of questions about the afterlife so I was expecting this article answers them. Nevertheless, I do agree with the author. How will we describe the phase from the point of death to everything after it? There are religious beliefs, each painting a picture of life after death. Who preached these ideas? The prophets. They are dead now. However, they never experienced death when they were still preaching. How can they be sure of the afterlife they believe? For all we know, the prophets could have fooled us. Besides, phenomenology is a process of attempting to disclose the reality of a subject, which in this case is death.

Heidegger tried to describe death from the point of view of a living man. He sought real and existing experiences to aid him in phenomenology. So again, what is death for Heidegger?

Death is man’s transition between his existence and non-existence. Such transition, according to Heidegger, cannot be experienced. Personally, this might not be entirely true. If there really is an afterlife, then man, or at least his consciousness, continues to experience. However, the afterlife experience cannot be relayed to the living world. Afterlife events stay in the afterlife world because the dead cannot return to life. There is this concept of ‘ghost,’ which stands on the foundation of the dualistic notion of man. But this body-and-soul notion is just a theory, an unproven idea. Therefore everything related to this concept, including the existence of ghosts, is unproven. I have heard accounts of people dying and then waking up after a few days. Unbelievable! The ‘resurrected’ might have just been on comatose or something. Even if he was proven to be dead, no heartbeat and all, I’m still skeptic. I don’t give in to superficial miracles. Somehow, there must be a reasonable explanation. Whether there is an afterlife or none, what truly happens on death and after it is beyond the scope of the living man’s knowledge.

Heidegger claims that death is not something that happens but something impending. It is part of one’s existence. It is part of man’s nature. I believe that. Immortality is impossible. Death will never fail to perform its job in every living thing. In every man, death awaits. As Heidegger says, death makes the man complete. In dying, man is proven to be man – a mortal who existed. Death is not the enemy of man. It is his destiny; his fulfillment; his wholeness. Once the man exists at birth, he immediately starts his journey to death. Heidegger’s phenomenology of death is about man as a being-towards-death.

Heidegger asserts that man should be aware of all his potentialities an existing being, as a being-in-the-world. One of these potentialities is the loss of his own existence, which is death. So it is important for man not to be too absorbed as a being-in-the-world.

A being-towards-death attitude though is not always proper. Heidegger observed that there is ‘inauthentic’ being-towards-death. This kind of man sees death as something general instead of taking it personally. He will say something like, “People die… one of these days one will die too, in the end; but right now, it has nothing to do with us.” Such attitude does not accept that death can come anytime, like the next minute. In personal experience, I go about doing things as if my tomorrow will always come. I say, “Bukas ko na lang ‘to gawin.” But what if I die before bukas comes? Then I have just made a plan which I have not and cannot be fulfilled.

Dy mentions that the inauthentic being-towards-death is aware of the possibility of death. However he looks at the death of a ‘one,’ which is actually nobody. He evades the possibility of his own death being near. He thinks that thinking about death is weakness. But for me, the denial of the spontaneity of death is true weakness and cowardice. The inauthentic being-towards-death instead busies himself with everyday matters.

Now the authentic being-towards-death is the man who anticipates death. Man should embrace the indefiniteness of this possibility. In accepting this possibility, “man frees himself,” as the article says. It means that he is freed from the false perception of the inauthentic being-towards-death – that his own death would not come soon. The authentic being-towards-death understands his wholeness with the possibility of death. In personal reflection, this attitude makes man act as if it is his last day. It doesn’t mean that he would prepare for his burial or write his last will. The man aware of the unpredictability of dying would most likely be less covetous with the material world. So what if I lost my job, was embarrassed, or got robbed? These events are futile after death. The authentic being-towards-death does not mean irresponsibility or carelessness. It just makes man take things more lightly as he lives. This way, he wouldn’t be too focused and disturbed with his temporal existence.

Death grants man the insight of the significance of his every action. If he can die anytime, then that means any of his actions can be his last action. This is an important thought for people of religion. It is usually the last action of the living man that determines his judgment in the afterlife. Grasping the possibility of death motivates man to always make the right move as much as possible.