Commencement

A friend sent me a text message during the Baccalaureate Mass last Saturday. Aside from a congratulatory message, she also included in the message an insight about graduation day: Graduation is not the end. It is a beginning. That's why it is also called Commencement Excercise. Commencement means start - specifically the start of another journey, which is the journey towards a fulfilled life. That fulfilled life may include reaching the peak of one's chosen career path, a healthy, happy family that will actually last for a lifetime, or whatever one's deepest desires are.

Graduation, for an Atenean in particular, means leaving the nest of the Eagles so he can take flight and soar across the sky, which is what he is meant to do.

Well this Atenean would like to take a break for several months. I mean, even before the Mother Eagle kicked me out of her nest, I have been trained to fly non-stop for several hours for several times. My wings need a break from all the sleepless nights of finishing work for the thesis/research. Heck! I need a break from 16 years of schooling, from kindergarten to college. Two-month vacations between school years were not enough. I deserve to just lay around and savor nothingness for a while before I spread my wings and fly away from the warm nest to the cold and bitter reality out there. There would be hunters trying to shoot us Eagles down. But hey, we're above them. We can drop shit-bombs to distract them.

But for now, I need rest to muster all the energy I need for whatever career path I will choose. Honestly, I'm torn between a career in Software Engineering/Development and in the Call Center. Both are equally interesting for me. The Computer Science Department Head highly discouraged us from taking the Call Center path and encouraged us to pursue a job in a reputable IT company, which is most probably outside Zamboanga City. But the Call Center Outsourcing company called first and scheduled training this week (it just started this morning). Is it a sign that the Call Center is the path for me, or is it just a test of how much is my desire for a job as programmer, which I should ideally choose 'coz I'm a bachelor in Computer Science? Well, after the training, if ever I pass, I would be awarded with a certification proving that I am worthy to be a Call Center agent. I asked during a one-on-one interview with the trainer a while ago if the successful trainees are bound to pursue a career in a call center agency. He said that they are not. But he encouraged them to do so, as a sign of gratitude for the trainer. The training is free and they don't get profit from the trainees, even when they are already working as a call center agent. But they do get added points (figuratively) for their reputation whenever a call center agent trained by their company excels in work. So I am taking this training to prove if I actually have good oral communication skills as what I have included in my resume. Talk about taking advantage of free stuff...

Or, just like what my sister suggested, I can enroll again, in the same university, to undergo Special Program for Nursing... Nah! I hate the weird smell of hospitals and I think I would instinctively throttle disgruntled patients. But if ever I do enroll for SPN, I would choose WMSU over AdZU. I heard that WMSU has more competent Nursing professors and doctors than in my alma mater. Wait... I don't think we even have competent professors and doctors for the Nursing students in Ateneo - just Clinical Instructors. And I also heard that WMSU has a higher passing rate in the Nursing board exams compared to AdZU. And I also heard that there is a culture of cheating among the Nursing students in AdZU and I have heard that some CI's condone it. But those are just what I have heard. Heard! Heard! Heard! I have to enroll for SPN in AdZU to confirm these rumors. But as what I have said: NAH! I'll just give AdZU the benefit of the doubt. I have good friends who also graduated last Saturday with a degree in Nursing from the same university. I don't want to think that they just spent thousands of pesos just for a crappy Nursing education.

Why am I still typing!? I promised myself that I will be lazy as hell after graduation! Blogging requires typing energy let alone thinking energy. I have to stop now.

Another Resolution Goes Blooey!

So says Garfield to Jon when the latter once again put on pants with its back in the front. The fat cat's remark also goes for me - not for wearing pants like what Jon did, but for unfalteringly neglecting blogging. Oh well, New Year's resolutions are myths anyway. I mean, if you really want to change something, don't wait for New Year! Start now!

As for me, I don't think there is any resolution to late, irregular blogging. It's not in top 10 of my priority list at the moment, so this post is gonna be a short one. Actually, I should be stopping right now lest I will be late for my earliest class again.

Carol of the Bells

Hark, how the bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say, throw cares away...

Throw cares away?? I just can't, not especially this very Christmas. So many things to finish. The thesis simulation application is not even half-finished. And considering that I'm doing the half of our group's thesis, I have just finished almost one-fourth of the entire thesis. I just hope that my other two groupmates are doing well.

And then there's still the schoolpaper layout, which I can't finish because of the lack of resources (articles, pictures, other important instructions), the Filipino-lifestyle-themed photography assignment for Humanities 101, and a freakin' PowerPoint presentation for Internet Technologies class. WAAAAA!!! Merry Christmas indeed!

Well, at least I'm enjoying programming the most important of them all, which is obviously the thesis, Chemical Bonding Tutorial and Simulation. As I've mentioned, I'm doing almost half of the system, which is the Simulation. I love OpenGL and my newfound programming language Visual Basic, designed for user-interface-oriented and lazy programmers like me. I just have to make sure that I'll not be too spoiled by VB.

What the hell am I still doing here?? I should be opening the VB workspace and work my ass off.

By the way, the following is my new favorite Christmas song, Thrice's revival of the "Carol of the Bells." It sounds mysterious and dark, which I like. Ironic for a Christmas song, huh? The video version I've found in YouTube shows Full Metal Alchemist clips. I like both the anime and the song, but they seem weird when they are together. There's not even something Christmasy in the video clips, except for the snow...

The Very Christmas to Me

:( Ateneo Fiesta Week will be officially over by the end of this day. I have to refill my academic vehicle's tank with academic fuel so I can drive it, bringing this academic burden without dropping it lest I fail to reach the finish line that is graduation. *sigh* But hey, it was the start of December just yesterday! It's the month of Christmas! We have actually decorated just last week.

But honestly, I have not been excited and eager for this coming Christmas and also for the other Christmases during the past few years. Even though I've been receiving some gifts during this season, it doesn't feel like the Christmases in my childhood. I can still remember those times nearing December when I constantly ask my mother if it was Christmas season already. I just couldn't wait then to bring out the Christmas tree and all the other ornaments from their 10-month storage above the bedroom closet and release them throughout the house so that the spirit of the Holidays would manifest. But the college Christmases were... blaahh... Perhaps it's because there are no forced Christmas parties anymore, with manito-manita. Yes, they may be forced, but a classic Christmas party is one thing that makes me feel it's really Christmas. Kris Kringles were exciting 'coz you get to collect clues for who picked your name, and you also get to think creatively such that your mark is concealed in your gifts.

*sigh* Those childhood and high school Christmases were quite different from the past few Decembers, which were also the times when our old Christmas decorations were deteriorating, actually. We were not supposed to decorate for Christmas this year because we realized that we don't invite Holiday visitors anymore anyway. So who else would marvel at the decorations but us? However, my sister in the States sent us money and insisted us to spend it on new decorations. So there we go - a new Christmas tree around six feet tall, and some Christmas balls and other ornaments to hang around it and around the house. We also recycled a few old decorations that still look decent. But... they didn't revive the Christmas spirit. Hmmm... maybe the decorations cannot find the spirit's remains anywhere in the house.

Therefore, I would just have to look for and revive it myself, and attempt to feel each Christmas as the "very first Christmas to me." Reminds me of the hilarious 'Christmas Who?' episode of Spongebob Squarepants. I like the musical number in it, which fortunately is available in YouTube and is embedded below.

I wonder at what exact age I discovered the very first Christmas to me. I hope I wasn't as overenthusiastic and naive as Spongebob was during his.

It's shaping up to be a wonderful holiday,
Not your normal, average everyday.
Sounds like someone killed my old coral tree.
Spongebob, Patrick, why'd you do this to me?
The world feels like it's in loverly.
Go away before I harm you bodily.
This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me.
There'll be shopping, decorating, and plenty of snow.
Hey, Patrick, who's that under the mistletoe?
What? Who, me? Would you look at the time, I should go!
People seem a little more brotherly.
Here's a little something to you from me.
Even all the trash on Christmas it smells so sweetly.
This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la (x many times)
What do you want? Can't you see that I'm busy?
Step outside, we've got something for you to see.
Spongebob, take this stuff down immediately!
Chestnuts roasting and burned to the third degree.
Tonight things are as good as they seem to be.
A star on top will complete all the scenery.
This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me
This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me 

The False Prophet

False prophets are sent by Satan to mislead people; to derail them from the path of righteousness where God calls them to constantly walk on. Well, Mr. Horned One will not be happy with my first job as a false prophet.

“All I say is thanks to the God…” said Manny stupidly when he was interviewed after winning his third match with the humbled Erik Morales, “Erik is big to me…” Get an interpreter or an English tutor, imbecile!

One of the Filipino commentators during a television coverage of their fight remarked that it was “a proud moment to be a Filipino.” Yes it was a proud moment for me too. But there is just a little pride in that ‘coz I find that same moment to be embarrassing too - more embarrassing actually. Imagine the Para sa ‘yo song was played for the entire coliseum to hear while Manny was approaching the ring. Sin verguenza! Erik Morales must’ve been giggling while he was listening to that. I remember El Terible commenting in an interview with Diane Castillejo that Manny’s singing was terible [as in Spanish for ‘terrible’]. Erik even mimicked Manny’s singing voice and it was hilarious! Erik sounded like a ghost saying “Ooooohooohoh,” or an old dog howling with a low tone after being hit by a baseball bat. It is really terrible… and terrifying… and embarrassing, at least for some people like me. Some Filipinos are Pacman-fanatic, considering Manny as a great singer. I have cotton buds at home for cleaning your ears, mga bingengat kayo! I remember Manny in a show being interviewed about his then upcoming concert. He joked, saying something like, “Baka mawawalan na ng audience ang ibang banda [Other bands may lose their audience].” The nerve of him, telling that joke! It wasn’t even a joke. A joke has a grain of truth in it. That wasn't a joke - it's an absolute lie! It’s blasphemy! A sacrilege of Truth! Crucify him!

But it’s too late. He won the fight. More will be deafened, corrupted by his crappy singing. And his new mansion will have a recording studio! This will be the shrine where he will inject subliminal messages in his songs – subliminal messages saying “Manny is f**king gorgeous! Manny is the greatest singer. He’s even greater than Sarah Geronimo. Let’s demand that he will sing the national anthem himself in all his coming matches. He is the greatest! Oh Manny, f**k me! Give me a bastard child like what you did to your mistress!”

In conclusion, Manny, I would like to thank you for winning this fight. You make me proud. *a trembling smile forms on my face*

Idle Hands Are a Devil's Workshop

I noticed that lately I have been slutty - I mean SLOTH-y with everything, from my academic life to even the mundane activities, like blogging. At last, now I have finally picked the enthusiasm up for posting another set of musings, for now. But still, I feel my hands are idle. Hmmm... But where's the Devil? I don't see him anywhere in my hands... Oh my God! Maybe I am the Devil! *LOL*

OK, I have to update about the thesis proposal. My last post about this was like ancient! BlueVoice is a great concept, yes. But guess what happened? I apostatized it and transferred to another where I think I can work better. Surprise! Right after that conversion, I did not even bother to blog about it. I mean, it's like a significant, not to mention risky, decision in my unstable university life. I guess I was lazy to blog then. The change was not about what was the better, safer thesis. It's all about where I can work better and with more enthusiasm. The second semester of my hopefully last year in college, which means the hopefully very last semester in college, has finally started just last week. I and my new groupmates should be working on programming the application. But so far, as far as I know, we are in the process of hunting down the three proposal panelists for their coveted signatures for approval. I did hear from one of my groupmates that she's learning Flash. I should be learning that too along with Visual Basic and OpenGL for backup.

So much to do but I am still not motivated. Get out of my hands, Devil!

Joke Time!!!

More text jokes that I have to delete from my cellphone inbox but I choose to remember here. Note: Text words are converted to their proper spelling.

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From Joval
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You're the perfect person that I know.

So sweet, so nice, so kind

Always on my mind

And very special for me

But there's something wrong...


Wrong send ako! hehehe :)
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From Grace
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MRS: Musta po asawa ko?

DOC: Sorry ma'am! Mula ngayon, ikaw na magpapakain
& magpapaligo sa kanya kasi putol na kamay at paa
niya!

MRS: Di nga?

DOC: Hehe, joke lang! Patay na siya! :)

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Heto ako iniisip ka.
Nakatunganga, nakahilata,
Mag-isa,
Nananalangin,
Humihingi ng himala
Na sana nandito ka..

Dami ng hugasin!
Tambak labahan!
Gulo ng house!

YAYA! I miss you na..:)

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Kung nag Gay Language sana sila GMA at Garci, eh di
walang scam!

GMA: Hallow Gracia!

Garci: Plangush mother! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na
po yong mga chuva ek ek!

GMA: Bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?

Garci: Winnie santos mama, wiz na worry eclavou na ever!
Na chorva na!

GMA: Ang tarush! Malditah ka talaga. Eh di windra na
naman watashi!?

Garci: Anufi Ate...

GMA: Oshah babush na... Rarampa pa ang lola! :)

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Isang lasing may nakitang madre..
Biglang sinuntok, tinadyakan at binalibag!

Bugbog-sarado ang madre..

Tapos tumawa yung lasing at sinabi..

"Wala ka palang binatbat,
BATMAN!!"

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Man and wife were out on an African safari when suddenly
a lion sprang out of nowhere and dragged the wife with its
jaws.

WIFE: Shoot! Shoot!

HUSBAND: I can't! Wala na akong FILM!

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From Kat
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"Danbe fuld badaraks datay gat..
Emstel, emstel, jinepram dablak..."

Ulit-ulitin mo lang.. Magegets mo din yan.

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One day, a sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile,
a zoophile and a pyromaniac were talking in a psycho ward.

SADIST: I'm bored, why don't we torture a cat?

ZOOPHILE: Yeah, We'll torture it and then f**k it!

MURDERER: We'll torture it, f**k it and then kill it!

NECROPHILE: We'll torture it, f**k it, kill it and f**k it again!

PYROMANIAC: Yeah, then we'll burn the cat!

(sudden silence)

Then everybody asked the masochist,
"Hey, why didn't you say anything?"

MASOCHIST: Meow! (",)

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Erap in school...

Teacher: Who knows what minimize is?

Erap: I do ma'am!

Teacher: OK, use it in a sentence.

Erap: Minimize is the girlfriend of Mickeymize.

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(Accordingly) a poem nominated for the best poem of '05,
written by an African kid.

When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in the sun, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.

And you White fellas,
When you born, you PINK.
When you grow up, you WHITE.
When you go in the sun, you RED.
When you cold, you BLUE.
When you scared, you YELLOW.
When you sick, you GREEN.
And when you die, you GRAY..

And you calling me COLORED?

- the kid has a point!

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Entertaining God

submitted on 09/25/06 as reflection paper for the religious-philosophical movie Dogma
**********************************************************

“There’s a million questions I wish I could ask, most all questioning what I'm sure is your great plan, and that would be really arrogant of me, I know. But there is one I'd like to ask, and I'm sure you get it all the time. But how many opportunities like this will I get?” Bethany inhaled deeply and then exhaled, preparing to hear the ultimate answer from someone infallible. “Why are we here?” The childlike woman stared at her for a while. Then she leaned forward and poked Bethany’s nose. The woman, who happened to be the latest embodiment of God, smiled at her and walked away. “Didn’t I tell you She was funny?” Metatron, a Seraph and the Voice of God, told Bethany matter-of-factly.

That was an excerpt from the ending scene of the film Dogma. I thought the scene was just amusing, and a little confusing, while I was watching it for the first time. However, it struck me just when I realized what it really meant during a class discussion. Although the film does not explicitly state it, it seems to imply that God created all of existence because of His sense of humor.

Dogma does not just exemplify God’s omnipotence and omniscience, but also His unlikely but very probable purpose of human existence. God is omnipotent that He can transform into one of us here on Earth. The problem is that He has to lose His omnipotence and omniscience to be human. Being human means being mortal, vulnerable to physical pain and death. His embodiment’s death can release Him from mortality to His original and true state. However, He may be trapped in His temporary body during a comatose, as exemplified in the movie. In this case, as human, He would be influenced by time. That then would give anyone the chance to prove the infallible God wrong, thereby reversing Him and all dependent existence to nothingness. But after some reflection, I learned that it may never happen. Remember that God is all-knowing. Although He lost His omniscience as a human, He still had it before He became one. Before turning human and thus losing His omniscience and omnipotence, He must have used it to ‘see’ if everything would be fine while he would be embodied. In Dogma for example, before becoming the human ‘John Doe,’ God knew that He, as human, would be beaten up and fall into comatose. But He also knew that He would eventually be saved by Bethany, the Last Scion. Thus, knowing this, He confidently allowed Himself to be human.

Now the bottom line question is: why did He have to create us? Wouldn’t it be the same if God decided to exist without us? God does not need the free man for truly responding love or for entertainment simply because He is perfect. He can never feel unloved or bored. He does not need anything else to sustain Him. So why do we need to exist? Perhaps there’s something wrong with the question. Maybe God did not need to create us – He wanted to create us.

God knows He does not need to create anything. If he was only serious, He should have not created us, thinking that, “I don’t need them anyway. It would be useless.” But He cannot be limited to being serious and boring. Since He is perfect, He must also have a sense of humor. And perhaps, as a result of being funny and playful, He created us – as His toys. As a perfect being, God cannot be entertained because he cannot be bored in the first place. Then He must have decided to be man so that He may experience human boredom and thus be truly amused when He frolics down here on Earth. It’s just like God built a small Legoland and shrunk Himself in it so He can enjoy playing with it more.

“Why are we here?” Perhaps we are here to entertain God, not because he needs amusement but he wants it. And since He is omnipotent, He gets what He wants. Now wouldn’t it affect my faith knowing that I exist as one of God’s playthings? Probably not. If we are God’s playthings, God would be like a child who would love and protect his toys. Thus, we are safe as God’s toys. If it did affect my faith, it added more amazement rather than fear in the funny God.

I must sharpen my sense of humor some more. I’d like to really amuse God in case I meet His embodiment one day. And I’d let Him poke my nose as many times as He would like.