Joke Time!!!

More text jokes that I have to delete from my cellphone inbox but I choose to remember here. Note: Text words are converted to their proper spelling.

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From Joval
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You're the perfect person that I know.

So sweet, so nice, so kind

Always on my mind

And very special for me

But there's something wrong...


Wrong send ako! hehehe :)
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From Grace
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MRS: Musta po asawa ko?

DOC: Sorry ma'am! Mula ngayon, ikaw na magpapakain
& magpapaligo sa kanya kasi putol na kamay at paa
niya!

MRS: Di nga?

DOC: Hehe, joke lang! Patay na siya! :)

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Heto ako iniisip ka.
Nakatunganga, nakahilata,
Mag-isa,
Nananalangin,
Humihingi ng himala
Na sana nandito ka..

Dami ng hugasin!
Tambak labahan!
Gulo ng house!

YAYA! I miss you na..:)

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Kung nag Gay Language sana sila GMA at Garci, eh di
walang scam!

GMA: Hallow Gracia!

Garci: Plangush mother! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na
po yong mga chuva ek ek!

GMA: Bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?

Garci: Winnie santos mama, wiz na worry eclavou na ever!
Na chorva na!

GMA: Ang tarush! Malditah ka talaga. Eh di windra na
naman watashi!?

Garci: Anufi Ate...

GMA: Oshah babush na... Rarampa pa ang lola! :)

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Isang lasing may nakitang madre..
Biglang sinuntok, tinadyakan at binalibag!

Bugbog-sarado ang madre..

Tapos tumawa yung lasing at sinabi..

"Wala ka palang binatbat,
BATMAN!!"

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Man and wife were out on an African safari when suddenly
a lion sprang out of nowhere and dragged the wife with its
jaws.

WIFE: Shoot! Shoot!

HUSBAND: I can't! Wala na akong FILM!

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From Kat
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"Danbe fuld badaraks datay gat..
Emstel, emstel, jinepram dablak..."

Ulit-ulitin mo lang.. Magegets mo din yan.

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One day, a sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile,
a zoophile and a pyromaniac were talking in a psycho ward.

SADIST: I'm bored, why don't we torture a cat?

ZOOPHILE: Yeah, We'll torture it and then f**k it!

MURDERER: We'll torture it, f**k it and then kill it!

NECROPHILE: We'll torture it, f**k it, kill it and f**k it again!

PYROMANIAC: Yeah, then we'll burn the cat!

(sudden silence)

Then everybody asked the masochist,
"Hey, why didn't you say anything?"

MASOCHIST: Meow! (",)

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Erap in school...

Teacher: Who knows what minimize is?

Erap: I do ma'am!

Teacher: OK, use it in a sentence.

Erap: Minimize is the girlfriend of Mickeymize.

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(Accordingly) a poem nominated for the best poem of '05,
written by an African kid.

When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in the sun, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.

And you White fellas,
When you born, you PINK.
When you grow up, you WHITE.
When you go in the sun, you RED.
When you cold, you BLUE.
When you scared, you YELLOW.
When you sick, you GREEN.
And when you die, you GRAY..

And you calling me COLORED?

- the kid has a point!

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