So right now, I'm pulling this experience out of the sea of oblivion. Let's pick up from where I stopped in my post (seven months ago!).
So when we arrived at the very remote, very far-flung Tolosa, each of us were assigned a "buddy" that we have to keep an eye on. Before heading off to a rumored oasis in the middle of the dense forest-mountain, we took a break in a local sari-sari store (there's a store in the mountain?!) to buy junk food and, for some girls, to use the comfort room.
And afterwards, the journey started. It was so long and exhausting that I can't narrate it in detail. But I remember fondly our complaints during the search for the hopefully existing oasis:
(1) it just rained the day before so the land was kinda muddy;
(2) since we were on the mountains, we were practically nearer to the sun and tree shades near our path were very rare, which is very ironic because we were in a semi-virgin jungle;
(3) some parts of the path were adjacent to cliffs that were almost vertically steep! I thought that in case I would fall, at least I could hang on to the small, weak tree (or bush) growing out of the side of the cliff;
(4) speaking of steep, we also had to pass through steep paths (of course because we were in the mountains), which led to several slips and stumbles, usually by the girls, including our moderator;
(5) and finally, the worst part is when we had to have our shoes soaked in river-water, which I didn't really enjoy because I hate getting wet when I'm NOT supposed to be wet. At first I thought we only had to CROSS the shallow river. But then soon, we had to pass THROUGH the river! No bridges! I did not anticipate this so I had to endure my squeaking rubber shoes when walking on land. Plus, we were walking against the flow of water since this alleged paradise was upstream.
After all of that, I thought it was all worth it because at least I finally had a rare hiking experience and the oasis was real after all. There were small pools. One of them had a small but strong waterfall and its water could reach up to my neck. Later, our local "tour guide" climed up the coconut trees to bring down coconuts. It was funny watching him crack open the coconuts with a bolo because it reminded me of "Manang Merin and the Top," one of my favorite stories in our Literature class.
Afterwards, our moderator gathered us to give us a spiritual talk about the experience. She said that this was part of the ACIL activities to let us see unadulterated nature that reminds us of God's power and existence. She discussed a lot of other things about journeys. The most striking for me was about going through a journey you're afraid of. She told us about her experience of a sort of vocation for the nunnery. She was afraid of the idea of being a nun and had decided that such life isn't for her. But she explained that undergoing the vocation is not a journey straight to the convent, but a journey of discovering if there is or isn't a calling for her.
That actually made it easy for me to accept the invitation for a Jesuit vocation seminar two months ago. That journey is not a one-way ticket to priesthood. The seminary isn't all about preparation for ordination. It's more of the process of knowing the vocation that God called you to.
You see, we, the Catholics, believe that each of us is destined to one of the three life vocations: matrimony, singlehood, and priesthood. We do NOT CHOOSE; we are CALLED by God to one of them. However, it does not imply the denial of freedom. One can still prefer to resist the calling. But in the Jesuit vocation, a speaker mentioned that you are happier when you walk on the path that God has chosen for you. That's why, the speaker added, some people feel that something is missing in their lives as laymen. And these are the kind of men that the seminary usually encounter.
As for me, I don't think I feel something empty in my life. I admitted, in a group discussion during the seminar, that priesthood is a POSSIBILITY for me and I don't completely close my door to it. But above it, I have many more priorities. And the topmost is career. But... hmmm... I just realized that up to this point, my career plans are still vague. Well at least it's gonna be related to computer science.
But this field is very broad. In the Database subset alone, one may be a database manager, or data or database administrator, or data analyst, or database consultant, etc. I think in Systems Analysis, there's the same number of available jobs with Database. Just replace "database" with "systems," like systems analyst or systems administrator. It'd be okay too if I work in the technical side, like a programmer. But programming is also vague. I have to ask in what field would I specifically spend time programming software. Gaming? Business? Medicine? Government? Shit! More decisions!
Wait... Perhaps this ambiguity in career is a sign of God's calling to a stable and definite life in priesthood...
*ROTFL*
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